"Postscripts"
After the cremation, her ex-husband broke his promise. Instead of scattering her ashes among the manzanita and pine of the Laguna Mountains, he hid them in a locker under his bed, as if one last time he might possess her. My needs were not with ashes. I would take my long late-night walks and talk out loud to her: “If you can hear me, show me a sign.” How many men have made this request, then spent their morrows waiting for reply? – the moon balanced on a church steeple, a voice – so much like hers! – mumbling in the wind like the murmur at the entrance to a cave, or the lost one’s favorite John Denver song slipping from the radio in a used book store at the same instant that her beloved Cat’s Cradle leaps into the mourner’s startled hand. A universe of ears could hear my petition, but a universe of mouths had nothing to say. So the entreaty got filed away with all the child’s prayers which came to naught: the bicycles unreceived, the acne that still clung to my face like barnacles, the pleas for my parents to stop fighting. A whole cosmos with a tongue the cat got. Every few months I’ve asked her daughter about the ashes, and lately heard her Ex’s health is failing. Soon my love will spring from the urn, and spill upon the earth. © 2007 Fred Longworth
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